


Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans

by dragking8586



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24087583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragking8586/pseuds/dragking8586
Summary: The Wizarding world version of Green Eggs and Ham.Take a highly intelligent and evil mind (me), add boredom and a hint of mischievousness, a parchment, a quill and an irreverent child's rhyme.  One of Teddy's books no less, to see if I can get the squirmy little brat to sit still in my lap!





	Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans

Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans

I am Sev. I am Sev. Sev-I-Am.

That Sev-I-Am! That Sev-I-Am! I do not like that Sev-I-Am!  
Do you like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans?

I do not like them, Sev-I-Am.  
I do not like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

Would you like them at Hogwarts or Honeydukes?

I would not like them at Hogwarts or Honeydukes.  
I would not like them anywhere.  
I do not like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.  
I do not like them, Sev-I-Am.

Would you like them in the Shrieking Shack?  
Would you like them with a rat?

I would not like them in the Shrieking Shack.  
I would not like them with a rat.  
I do not like them at Hogwarts or Honeydukes.  
I do not like them anywhere.  
I do not like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.  
I do not like them, Sev-I-Am.

Would you eat them from a Whizz-Bang box?  
Would you eat them with a green snake?

Not from a Whizz-bang box. Not with a green snake.  
Not in the Shrieking Shack. Not with a rat.  
I would not eat them at Hogwarts or Honeydukes.  
I would not eat them anywhere.  
I would not eat Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.  
I do not like them, Sev-I-Am.

Would you? Could you? In a flying car?  
Eat them! Eat them! Here they are.

I would not, could not, in Weasley's flying car.

You may like them. You will see.  
You may like them in the Whomping Willow tree!

I would not, could not in the Whomping Willow tree.  
Not in Weasley's flying car! You let me be.

[....]

Could you, would you, with a goat?

I would not, could not with that perverted old man's goat!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on one of those leaky poor excuse for a float.  
I will not, will not, with a don't-know-where-it's been goat.  
I will not eat them in the rain, reminds me too much of love's lost pain..  
Not in the dungeon's dark! Not in the tree that would quash me with a whomp!  
Not in an enchanted car! You let me be!  
I do not like them from a Whizz-bang box.  
I do not like them with a green snake.  
I will not eat them in the Shrieking Shack.  
I do not like them with a rat.  
I do not like them at Hogwarts or Honeydukes.  
I do not like them anywhere!  
I do not like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans!  
I do not like them, Sev-I-Am.

You do not like them. So you say.  
Try them! Try them! And you may.  
Try them and you may, I say.

If you let me be, say I Sev-I-Am,  
I will try them. You will see.

(... And he tries them ...)

Say! I like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans!  
I do! I like them, Sev-I-Am!  
And I would eat them in a leaky ole float..  
And I would eat them with a dirty old man's goat...  
And I will eat them, in the rain, much to my shame.  
And in the dungeons dark. And on the Express train.  
And in a flying car. And in a Whomping Willow tree.  
They are so good, so good, you see!  
So I will eat them from a Whiz-bang box.  
And I will eat them with a silver-tongued green snake.  
And I will eat them in the Shrieking Shack.  
And I will eat them with a rat.  
And I will eat them at Hogwarts or Honeydukes.  
Say! I will eat them anywhere!

I do so like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans!  
Thank you! Thank you, Sev-I-Am.


End file.
